July... THE BEST MONTH EVER!!!

I have had so many things to cheer me up, I haven't had time to post here! To each of these angels mentioned below and all involved in making this month amazing, Thank you. You are a blessing in my life. I am so loved. My Father in Heaven loves me. It is so apparent. July 2014 has been one of the best, if not THE BEST, month of my life. 

• Started out the month with a Mother/Daughter date to a festival downtown! We wandered and giggled and ate and enjoyed ourselves! Dole Whips and Kettle Corn and special bonding time!
• A few days later I got to celebrate our wonderful country with my family. Yes, I worked on Independence Day/Night and didn't get to see the fireworks with the family, but we got to celebrate the day/night before bbq-ing and firework-ing. After work I went out and danced my heart out. I am so blessed to have a body that works, and to have found something I am good at and enjoy so much.
• Later that weekend I got together with extended family at the cabin- a long needed mini-vacation and had alone time in the hammock. I just sat there completely relaxed. My mind hadn't been that free in who knows how long!
• After that I was a counselor at Be The Best You- an amazing camp for girls, helping them to realize and achieve their full potential. God placed me there with those girls. I cannot believe all of the prayers answered and miracles I saw daily. I was closer to my Father than I had been in a LONG time. Those girls changed my life. I sincerely hope they Believe in themselves and in Christ. Not to mention the awesome BEYOND 5 CONCERT with these ladies! We did service and learned and played and grew together. One of the best weeks of my life.
• I had lots of sister time this month doing nails and shopping and babysitting... these ladies take care of me. I'm so glad we're all together for now! One of my sisters even rearranged a schedule that had been in the works for MONTHS so she could be a part of my schedule and special family time.
• I got a raise at work!
• We had another BBQ with family and made our own rootbeer from scratch! It was delicious and super fun!
• I went to the Jordan River Temple for the first time with twelve family members. 12 loving relatives supported me in a huge step in my spiritual progression. What a special experience! It was new, but I knew it was God's plan. The day ran smoothly and I knew that God wanted me there.
• I was able to perform at the conference center- sort of... I did voice over work for the Church. After I finished recording a testimony of President Monson, I found out that my recording was to be part of a piece specifically for President Monson about the Sabbath day and his influence! PRESIDENT MONSON WILL HEAR MY TESTIMONY OF HIM! So cool!!!
• Most temples are closed on Mondays, and if open, only for a few morning hours. Because of that recording session, I was unable to go to the temple. BUT, I went for the next two days and plan to go the rest of the days this week. I keep learning and loving and growing! I feel like I can conquer the world! Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are right beside me, helping me continue on!
• Also this month I had the privilege of going on many lunch/dinner dates with an old friend and was able to reconnect with and enjoy his company. We used that time to escape the craziness of life and relax and eat good food!
• Today a trip to Walmart turned into a reunion with a friend! All I wanted was to return something, but the timing worked out perfectly that I ran into a friend -nay- a SISTER of mine and was able to connect with her and her husband and feel the love and joy that comes from true friendship. We haven't really talked in months! But that didn't matter! They are my family and I love them. Thank you.

I see my Heavenly Father's hand everywhere! I feel His love. I feel my worth. I know He is proud of me for the decisions I have made to follow Him. Life has been so wonderful lately, I am almost scared that something will go terribly wrong. If it does- I CAN HANDLE IT! With Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ taking my hands, WE CAN DO IT! Yeah, life is hard, but there are so many more happy things to help us along! Today at work I was talking with a cute, young customer and he mentioned that the last time he came in, I was having a wonderful, cheerful day! He went on to say that I must have a lot of those. I responded with, I'd much rather have happy than sad! Who wants that? IT'S THE TRUTH! I am a happy person! No, I'm not perfect, and I do get discouraged, but I feel like I am generally happy! I was amazed that a customer could see and admire that! ... it also helped that he was cute ;) You know, I have had insecurities and car trouble and a swollen sausage finger this month, but they are forgotten as I think about the wonders of this month. WHO KNEW JULY WAS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME? I am blessed! I love it! 

30-Day Happiness Challenge (8)

Today I am thankful for:

1. RAIN... free carwash and moisture :)
2. An employer who will call me when I mix up my shift times
3. A working computer!

Something Meaningful yesterday:

I was able to go to the Provo Temple grounds yesterday even though the temple is closed. I just sat there, took pictures, laid there, and enjoyed the peace and spirit. A truly meditative afternoon at the Happiest Place on Earth! It kinda kills me to say that, but it's the truth! Happier than Disneyland!

I am going to be a camp counselor and have training and camp coming up in the next few days, so I won't be posting regular happiness posts. I guess you'll have to make your own! Also, that whole reaching out/praising thing? It's AWESOME. People feel great, then I feel great! It's wonderful!

30-Day Happiness Challenge (7)

This morning I am thankful for:

1. Sassy Old Spice Advertisers
2. Sharp scissors 
3. Work that keeps me busy

Something meaningful:

I was worrying about a spiritual decision I made and I talked to my mom about it. She reassured me, as did the Spirit, and now I have no worries creeping in. This is the right thing. I know it, the Lord knows it. :) And I feel him closer to me than ever because of it!

And today I will do all of those other things too ;)

30-Day Happiness Challenge (6)

Things I am thankful for today:

1. Church leaders that believe in me and support me
2. Family members that get excited for my big life decisions
3. Heavenly Father's loving direction and support so I can be happy and reach my full potential

Something meaningful over the past 24 hours:

I made plans for a family trip to the temple and started inviting family members. When I approached my sister about it, she said she had made plans months ago for a meeting that is school/work related. I felt awful that I was trying to plan something right in the middle of her commitment. She got to work right away and contacted those people, trying to meet another time, even though it has been planned for months. She let me know that it was all taken care of and she would be able to participate in our family day. I love her! She is such a wonderful support and example to me. :)

Today I will try to get my cardio in, even if it's just a walk, and I will meditate and contact/praise a friend. I am LOVING this happiness challenge! Seriously, it's the simple things in life that we forget about. 

30-Day Happiness Challenge (5)

This morning I am thankful for:

1. a loving Bishop that supports me
2. having a facebook page so I can keep up with all of my friends and family and be updated on their lives regularly
3. gel pens ;)

Something meaningful in the past 24 hours:

Last night I climbed in bed with my older sister while she was on the phone. It bugged her... a lot. I was just being silly and lovey dovey. She complained loud enough that my younger sister came and joined us on the bed. She snuggled in there and did the same thing to me. It was awesome to have that sister time with us all being silly. I've always been closer to my older sister because of our ages, but it is great to find connections with my younger sister as well. I love them!

Today I will also get in my cardio and reach out to a friend. ALSO - SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS: I will meditate for at least 5 minutes. Hopefully more. I need that personal time to relax and I can't wait!

30-Day Happiness Challenge (4)

This morning I am thankful for:

1. family gatherings and our ability to joke around
2. a family that will be silly with me and think I'm funny, not strange
3. hair products that make my hair look AWESOME!

Something meaningful in the last 24 hours:

At our family gathering last night, I went downstairs to look around. I knew there were hammocks, but when I saw them I just couldn't resist. I sat in one by myself for the rest of the night. It wasn't lonely, it wasn't because I was upset. I had me-time. I sat in that hammock and my mind was clear. There was nothing. I could just relax and hang there by myself. It was BEAUTIFUL. I haven't had a moment like that in such a long time. It meant so much to me to just relax in the mountains. I always have worries and a million things running through my head. I want to relax and be comfortable. There is no reason to worry, but I do anyway. Camping has always seemed to do that for me. If I am out in the mountains, or anywhere camping really, I can let go and just be in the moment. It is an amazing gift. I love it!

Also today I will reach out to a different person and praise them, AND I will get in at least 15 minutes of cardio. I'm headed to the gym so I plan on more, but that's the requirement for the happiness challenge!

30-Day Happiness Challenge (3)

Today I am thankful for:

1. Cute robes to make you feel fantastic when you get out of the shower
2. Waking up and starting the day with the first alarm
3. Stuffed animals so I can sleep comfortably with extra pillow/animal support

Something Meaningful over the past 24 hours:

I was able to spend lots of time with my Mom yesterday. We had a date to see a street fair and got a Dole Whip float- a favorite of ours. :) Later, when shopping at the grocery store, we were looking for the pudding aisle and both said something about finding it. Perfectly together we said, "Winner, winner, chicken dinner!" We then busted up laughing. I love my mom and we have been so busy that we haven't spent much time together. Quality time with my mother is always meaningful. :)

Day 3 is also time to reach out to someone and praise them. I won't do that on here ;)

30-Day Happiness Challenge (2)

I was supposed to do this when I woke up... oops. It's new for me. I'll get the hang of it ;)

Today I am thankful for:

1. Toes to grab things when I am too lazy to move my whole body
2. My natural ability to follow while dancing with a partner
3. q-tips to clean out nasty ear wax!

Something Meaningful in the last 24 hours:

I was alone last night, the 4th of July. I decided to go dancing. I haven't been Blues Dancing in a long time. It can get kind of gross if your partner likes to dance dirty. Also, I'm not one of the most sought-after partners... I don't normally dance a whole lot. It's probably because I don't know them well enough and there are many single girls there. For whatever reason, it was my night. I danced with almost every man there, and danced multiple times with some of them. The final dance of the night was like a dream! What a connection with my partner! That's what I love about blues- you create a story. It's just two people communicating with their bodies and creating something beautiful. At the end of the night I said goodbye to two men by the door. They hugged me, talked for a bit, and ended up telling me that I am a great dancer who brings class to that Blues venue. Wow. I felt so great! I'm classy! They know my limits when it comes to dancing and respect it! So cool!!! There were 4 or 5 men who complimented me on my dancing that night. Very meaningful to me. 

30-Day Happiness Challenge (1)

"Harvard-trained happiness researcher Shawn Achor sat down with Oprah Winfrey recently and shared some tips that he believes will effectively turn anyone into a positive person. Based on his advice, we created a 30-day challenge that we're confident will take you from zero to happy in just a month. You'll notice that this challenge isn't like others in that you'll be doing the same thing for more than 21 days. We wanted you to practice these habits for more than 21 days because that's the amount of time it takes to start a habit. We're hoping that you'll keep this going, perhaps in a modified form, for the rest of your happy life.

This is what I have decided to do. I am a generally happy person, but there is always more I can do! I would like to create new habits because I have been pretty disappointed with my current habits, especially now that it is summertime. Day one of the challenge is naming three new things I am thankful for. 

1. Disney movies to relate to and laugh about when they come up in every day life... like this morning when I looked like Anna from frozen on "cornoration day" ;)
2. Fuzzy blankets
3. Fun nail polish to help me when I feel I need a change. It's simple and easy and saves me money- instead of the big changes which I would love, but would bury me

So, almost no one reads this blog. If you are reading this, it means you have to participate because no one else is going to. So, come on! Get happy! 

Sunshine

This evening I went to pick up my sister. The sun was setting as I left the neighborhood and it hit me right in the eyes. I couldn't see a thing. Seriously, it was scary. I drove slower until I could really see around me, then continued on my way. It hit me that I hadn't had a case of "sun-blindness" (that's a thing. I just created it) that bad since I drove submarines at Disneyland. We used to pull into dock as the sun was going down and you couldn't see the sub in front of you or the right place to park. It was pretty scary- especially with the responsibility of keeping 40ish people safe. Remembering that made me get all emotional. Seriously? Emotional because the sun was in my eyes and I missed Disneyland? CRAZY! I found it hilarious that I reacted that way, so I then had a giggle fest. Why be sad about missing that time in my life? It was a wonderful gift that I never have to forget or give away! What a blessing! I loved remembering those fun times and am so glad that in some weird way I could relive them. :) Tootles! 

"Thank You"s

I haven't written in a while- not because there hasn't been anything to write about, but I've just been distracted. But, I've had a little pick-me-up and am hoping this will make me even more happy. SO, Thank You:

CP- for the free breakfast. I have been a bit lonely and this end of term breakfast helped me socialize with old friends and feel the love. :) PS, the pancakes were to die for!

Aunt Mel- for cutting my hair. It is wonderful. It's light, yet curly, but not too fluffy... you are extremely talented and I am so glad you are so close and willing to help me have beautiful, healthy hair.
Alexa at Paul Mitchell- for waxing my face. $5 made me feel fresh and beautiful and brand new.
Della- for watching American Ninja Warrior with me. I love how intense it gets and how we squeal and get all excited when someone pushes through and makes it up the warped wall.
Baywatch Producers- for creating a silly, yet wonderful TV show that, although highly dramatized, reminds me of home.
Fingernails- for growing long and not splitting like you normally do. You look great and help my fingers to not look like sausages. I am mean to you sometimes, but I love you.
Nose and Teeth- for being strong and putting up with my stupidity. You didn't break on me when I threw you against the pavement. What dedication!
Natasha- for being so welcoming and loving every time I see you. You are like a sister to me and I can't believe we don't see each other more.
Manager- for giving me time off for camp, and for giving me even more time off for a roadtrip back home.
Alicia- for being so excited to see me last night. It really made my day. I've missed you.
Dillon- for letting me borrow your banjo. I love that instrument and really hope to learn a lot so we can jam.
Ty- for texting me and checking in whenever you come down to Provo. It's awesome to have you back, but even more awesome that you still want to get together and have fun.
Heavenly Father- for the weather, for the people in my life, for the trust you have in me, even when I feel like a failure. I love you. Happy Father's Day!
Dad- for loving me and not complaining that I wasn't around very much on Father's Day. I love you so much and am thankful for having you in my life. Happy Father's Day!
Living Planet Aquarium- for allowing me to be part of the first penguin encounter for free! We were so excited and couldn't believe we actually fed penguins. What a treat!

The moral of the story: life rocks! When you don't see it, think about what great things have happened to you recently. I promise there are a lot!

Crash, Boom, Bang!

I have SO MUCH to be thankful for! I went on a spontaneous bike ride last night and crashed. Hard. I was going down a hill and slid out. I am really cut up and bruised, but I have all my teeth and my nose didn't break!!! Hooray! I have so many things to be thankful for this week. I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful this accident turned me more toward God. I am thankful I had someone with me to take me home. I am thankful for the crowd of people that came out to help me when I crashed. I am thankful my bike is still in working order. I am thankful I didn't have to work today. I am thankful so many people care about me! I am thankful that although my face is screwed up, I am still beautiful! I am thankful for the Divine construction of faces- so that my eyes have been protected and weren't gouged out. I am thankful for the excuse to wear comfy clothes! I am thankful we took pictures for the Ward Directory last week! I am thankful I didn't have to go to the hospital! I am thankful only one nail had the polish scraped off. I am thankful that I can pretend people are distracted by my beauty, not just the big red spots on my face. I am thankful for this experience that taught me so much!

I also lost my debit card the other day and a sweet stranger tracked me down and returned it. I mean seriously, WHO DOES THAT? He picked it up so no one else would get it and use it, and tried to track me down every way possible. Not only did he look for an owner, but made me describe the card to make sure I was the right owner. I now have it back, no harm done. 

The brakes went out in my car. I was able to go get them repaired -for a price- but they're fixed now! I don't have to ride my bike after that accident! I can drive! HOORAY! I am so thankful for that! 

I have such wonderful people in my life and such amazing opportunities to enjoy myself.

Gimme Shelter

Tonight I watched a wonderful movie called Gimme Shelter. It's a true story about a young girl, abused, hurt, thrown from foster home to foster home, homeless, pregnant, then finally in a shelter that changed her life. I really enjoyed it and even liked Vanessa Hudgens in it. Is she the best actress? No. Did her performance impress me? Definitely. There's my little plug for the movie.

The whole movie was a beautiful, uplifting story, but what affected me most was the love in the ending. I don't want to give too much away, but a few scenes really touched me. The main character, Apple, didn't have her dad in her life. After many trials, she gets to know and gain a relationship with him. He is there for the birth of her daughter and wants to give them the love they deserve. There are a few moments that, thanks to Brendan Fraser, really touched me. He is willing to give all of his love to his new daughter and granddaughter. Even though he is already raising a family and working full time, he makes time for those that need his love. The smallest gestures of a kiss on the head or wiping away tears reminded me of the men in my life that have been willing to give me everything.

I am so blessed to have male family and friends that are tender and loving. I need someone who can be gentle and soft with me and with our children. Until recently, I didn't realize how important that was to me. A very special person taught me what it is to love. I wasn't very good at it. He gave everything for me and was willing to get hurt if that meant I was happy. I feel that my selfishness often gets in the way of my love. Love is pure and should be given completely. Yes, I am still learning what love is, but I am thankful for the people in my life who take those steps with me and teach me how to be better.

I listened to this song tonight. 5 years time. Where will I be? Will I be with this tender man that I need? With a sweet little blessing in my arms? I sure hope so. I know I won't have mastered that love thing by then, but I'm excited to keep improving on it. To all of those that are blessing and teaching me, thank you. I love you. And to some of you- I miss you. I'm sorry I couldn't completely give the love you need and deserve. I'm working on it.

Just 'cause

I don't know what this post is about. I just needed to post something. I've been thinking a lot recently about a talk by Dallin H. Oaks called Good, Better, Best. I've been trying to figure out my priorities and who and what is most important in my life. There are so many wonderful people, but what is right for me? Who should I stick with? Are they good? Are they the best? Why do I like these people? Is it enough? Let me just put this all aside for a minute and say, there are people in my life that love and care for me. Wow. How amazing is that? Heavenly Father put people in my life who want to know me! ME! This crazy redheaded, dancing, Disney-obsessing, thrill seeking gal! Sometimes I get caught up in my selfish woes, but there are so many reasons to look up! So many people to get to know! So many things to do with myself! So, thank you world. Thank's for caring about me. and if you need to know that you are loved and cared for, please let me know. I try to share that, but know I don't show that love enough.

The Worth of Gum

At work last night, after checking a cute family out, they left the store, then quickly came back in. The mother looked at me and set down an open package of gum. She looked at her son, then back at me and said, "He stole. He needs a lecture." I was busy and knew it probably wasn't my job, so I called my supervisor. This boy was almost 3 years old; so little- so terrified. My supervisor invited him to the side, which took some coercing, but then started to explain what he had done wrong. The next mother in line told her kids, "This is what happens when you steal. Go listen to her." I was impressed by these mothers who took the extra time to teach their children right and wrong. I don't have experience raising kids- that day hasn't come yet. I don't know why it impressed me so much! It was a tender experience for me. I cannot wait until I have children. I believe it will be a little while, but when I do get to that point in my life, it will be wonderful. Easy? Heck no! But I am excited. I had an experience at work, and it made me excited about life! I needed something last night to keep me sane, and Heavenly Father provided one! I'm sure that experience had a lot more importance than just entertaining me, but I loved it nonetheless. 

In choosing to be cheerful last night, I have big thanks to give. 

Heavenly Father- Thank you for blessing me with so many wonderful people! I learned great things today and felt so loved and appreciated! I love you!
To my supervisor- thank you so much. I had a final paper that wasn't going to get finished if I stayed at work, you she allowed me to clock out for half an hour to focus on that. You even let me set up my computer at the Customer Service desk so I could work when there were no customers. AND- the cherry on top- when customers did come, you stepped up and helped them so I could continue working on my paper. I love you! Thank you for supporting me in my schooling and helping to calm my frantic nerves. I cannot tell you what that meant to me last night.

Tori- What a babe. Thank you for dropping me off and picking me up. The unnecessary effort also blessed me and allowed me to finish my paper. Couldn't have done it without you.

My N106 boys- Thank you for the hugs last night.  You are so fun and sweet, and I needed that time with you (even if it was only a few minutes) so I could let go and relax. You are the best. I love you handsome men!

Self Discovery

Considering the name of this blog, I thought I would call attention to a quote by David A Bednar in his 2014 April General Conference talk, Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease. "Sometimes we mistakenly may believe that happiness is the absence of a load. But bearing a load is a necessary and essential part of the plan of happiness. Because our individual load needs to generate spiritual traction, we should be careful to not haul around in our lives so many nice but unnecessary things that we are distracted and diverted from the things that truly matter most." There are loads in our lives, but we need to be able to work through them- that's why we're here. I often haul around unnecessary things. I want more in my life and have a hard time determining priorities. That is especially true now. It's finals time- reflection time!

I have found a personal recurring theme of this school year. My time back in Utah has been all about self discovery and confidence in myself. In finding that strength and comfort, I can't help but accept and love others like I am learning to accept and love myself. It has been such a beautiful gift!

I have found confidence and strength in my body. I am strong! I am beautiful! My body dances, it dives- it even sword fights! Yes there might be areas that I wish were different, but I'm not perfect and that's alright! My body is a gift from God and I love it!

I am smart. I like to relax and be lazy sometimes, but that does not discount my ability to think. I can write. I can read. I can come up with original ideas. I even like those ideas sometimes!

I have an ability to connect with people. I can overcome my challenges and help them overcome theirs. I love getting to know people and know that those in my life now are here for a reason.

Do I doubt all of this sometimes? Yes. It's part of life, but I know that I am blessed; I am a daughter of Heavenly Father. I am strong. He loves me and I love Him. 

Cheerful Thanks

I had a rough day today. I knew there were many reasons to be happy, but I didn't want to see them. I just wanted to snuggle and let myself be sad. Sometimes we just need to be sad. Although I am still feeling a wee bit negative, I can see the beauty in my week. Here is a way to lift my spirits and focus on the good in the world.
Sarah- Thank you for understanding me and checking in on me today. Thanks for the permission to be sad. It really helped me.
Tyler and Jarrod- Thank you for talking with me tonight and allowing me to do dishes. I needed love and you fellas provided it. I value our friendship. Thank you for validating and comforting me in my time of need.
Melinda- Thank you for listening to the promptings of the Spirit. When I needed you, you were there. What a testimony builder.
Dad and Mom- Thanks for your help fixing the car! I couldn't have done it alone and I loved the family bonding time over my Exus.
Lindsey- Thank you for talking to me and Natasha in North Court. I've missed having you in my life. Each little interaction means something.
Cute Old Lady Customers- Thank you for lifting my spirits and making sure I am always a happy worker. Your kind words are always encouraging and remind me of my grandmothers.
Rain- Thank you for making things grow and making life more exciting.
Roommates- I am going to miss you so much! Thank you for cleaning the apartment and dealing with my laziness. Your love and care for me is amazing. I don't deserve you.
Heavenly Father- Thank you for this week. I am so happy to live with knowledge of such wonderful things.