Sometimes life gets hard and sometimes you listen to the wrong voices in your head. And sometimes you do that for a LONG TIME.
Management has been changing at my job and it has been hard for everyone. I have always said over and over that I love change. I do! I love changing my hair, my nails, my hobbies... but I thought these changes were just too much. I didn't like the way things were being handled, so I complained. I commiserated with anyone and everyone who also felt unfairly treated by the situation. And I complained to anyone else who would listen and back me up, to make me feel justified in my negativity. Someone called me this, someone else did that, so and so said this, I refuse to do that... Selfish. Self-absorbed. Negative. Satan's ways. I was angry, and I was going to drag everyone down with me.
Today I came to work with low expectations and wary of an unfamiliar coworker from our other location. I felt I needed to work extra hard because I was being watched and didn't want a negative report to be given to the person in charge. I soon realized that this was not the case. This coworker worked hard. Harder than I ever thought I could work. His example spread joy and motivated others to work hard. He treated the people beneath him with kindness and respect. He knew the job that was expected of him and he went above and beyond the call of duty to accomplish it. He did the duties of the lowest of the low and did it with a smile. He smiled and lifted customers left and right. When we were short staffed, he offered to stay after a bit to help me. He stayed AN HOUR AND A HALF longer than he was scheduled because the job wasn't done. Even after we called it quits for the night, 90 minutes after the store had closed, he offered to come in and finish tomorrow night, the one day we're not open, or even Monday morning. Whatever he needed to do to support his employer and create a clean, happy environment for his coworkers, he would do it. It seemed like all of my recent interactions with my superiors ended in anger, fear, or sadness. I was at my wits end- I couldn't handle it anymore. This coworker, this BOSS treated me as an equal, even as an important leader.
Tonight's lesson of humility and love has hit me hard. It's something I can't explain.God's lessons come when you need them. I had lost sight of me. Satan had a hold of my heart and I didn't do anything about it. The best version of myself, the real me, the me that Heavenly Father sees, is an optimist. She's happy, she loves serving others, and can be happy anywhere. I am so thankful that my Father in Heaven told me to snap out of it! I have a job to do. Even if I am treated unfairly, or treated with anger or disrespect, I will continue to be me and serve in the capabilities I have committed to. If I need to remove myself from the situation, I will, but until then, I have a job to do as a daughter of God and a disciple of Christ.
